ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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