You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
