why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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