I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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