WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
