You're completely useless in the revolution.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
