so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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