Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
