I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
