At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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