I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
