Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
