Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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