Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
