Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
