He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
