Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why can't burritos get me drunk
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
