yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
