Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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