Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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