I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
