i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Your dad touched me again.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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