i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
only you would photoshop your dick
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
