Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
