I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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