I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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