so that wasnt chicken after all
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
