we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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