Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
