Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
