Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i permit you to call me
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
