I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
