when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
