you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
