p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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