I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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