I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
PANTIES FOUND
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