Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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