i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
