so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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