Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
