I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
