wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
