maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
