i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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