If that was your dad, he is hot
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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