I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
