Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just gift wrapped bread.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She bit a glass in half.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
