so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
