I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
